Persian Girl Diary

As a woman who has to frequently move around for her job, I’m used to leaving all my lovers behind (or being left behind), but this time my situation is COMICALLY unlucky. If you read my last post, you should already know about Perth guy, I have to admit I’m getting a bit attached. It’s hard to be held and called gorgeous and a Persian princess 1000 times and not develop feelings. He knows exactly how to love bomb me. Maybe even better than me… Whatever. I don’t know if this is intuition or my anxious attachment coming into play, but I just FEEL like he could be my husband. He is just LOVELY. Funny and handsome and tall and great at texting and ***. It’s such early stages that I can’t really judge but I haven’t had any complaints thus far. I might complain that the texting is falling off a bit, probably because of my inevitable move away, but it’s okay, he’s a working man. When I start working again I’ll be unreachable. So sexy and mysterious.

I heard him sing and he’s actually phenomenal, not better than me, but absolutely excellent. It is so attractive when a man can actually sing. One time I had to sit through a guy singing for me in the car for 2 hours straight and he absolutely sucked. And he had the audacity to ask me to rate his singing. Not something I’d ever want to experience again. He just texted me again, omg. My heart skips a beat when I see his stupid name. He’s such a millennial too, but it’s not a turn-off somehow? My sense of humour is much more chronically online and Instagram Reels-curated, and yet somehow I’m snort-laughing around him. I think it’s the situation where, when you have a crush and everything they say is funny. I need to stop wearing rose-coloured glasses and assess whether he’s truly TRULY funny or if I’m just obsessed.

Honestly, this whole thing is making me realize I’m in desperate need of therapy. I think I’m deeply addicted to the feeling of being loved and wanted. I feel tiny shifts in attitude through text, and it truly affects my mood. I’m still a young girl, but it’s getting a bit out of hand. I LOVE being loved. I would give anything for it. I’m so incomplete on my own, and that doesn’t mean that I can’t be single. But when I am single, all I can think is how much better and more complete my life would be if I had someone. Actually fuck therapy; I don’t see why this needs to change?

Maybe all I need to do is find someone who is equally obsessed with me and it will just calm my nervous system and let me achieve other things in life. Surely there is someone out there who is obsessed with love as much as I am. It just has to be an obsession-for-life type of thing. Where am I even going with this? I keep swiping in and out of this page to see if Perth guy texted me. So silly. I think he’s soft launching our slow decline of communication. Making small remarks on how there will be many attractive people in my new city… How can I blame him? No one wants to do long distance. I would do long distance for him, though. This might be the hormones talking, but loving comes EASY to me.

When I move, I’ll reassess how I feel about this situation. It feels SOOOO good right now. Good to the point where I feel like I should derail my life plans and not move away. WHATEVER. At least I know I’m still capable of love after being in a heartbreak-induced depression for a year. Let’s focus. Job starting Monday; I have to be the baddest bitch intern with the best work ethic. Wish me luck, guys! (This blog has approximately zero readers btw.)