Persian Girl Diary

I’m sitting in the airport while writing this; Mama got her passport stamped and is ready to start working for a year. Flying out on 9/11 wasn’t very wise, as security is extra cautious today, but I made it through, thank god… If I’m being honest, I’m mortified. I’ve lived in America 3 times now, and it never gets easier. How am I going to make friends? Will anybody like me? Will I be any good at my job? Will I get a return offer?? It’s all so hard on me. A lot of my friends think I’m an inspiration but they have no fucking clue how scared I really am. I’m not going to talk too much about Perth boy this post because I talked my ass off the last post, but I still have a bit left to say…

I’m really trying to play it cool here, but I’m honestly dreading having to watch his texts get drier and drier, and more spaced out, until turning into nothingness. It’s inevitable with this long-distance shit. I’ll see him on Sunday, and then it’s probably 2 months without seeing each other, then maybe another month, then another couple of months. I’m not god’s strongest soldier and I doubt he is either. He also has aphantasia so genuinely he’s unable to visualize me in his head and miss me. I literally make edits of him in my head. I use my imagination of him to take care of myself… I love when he texts me out of nowhere because then I know he’s thinking of me. God, I could totally marry him. Anwyays lets move on from this ridiculous shit because I promised I wouldn’t talk about him too much.

I’m so fucking excited to work at my dream job, and I just got news that my best friend Vicky got a job offer in my new city. God I’m SO excited. Praying they offer her greedy ass enough money to get her to take the job. Maybe this new city is where I belong. Perth boy might turn out to be a jackass who secretly hates me, and I’ll realize I don’t need to relocate my life to Canada after all. Short post today, please forgive me for my laziness.